Ana Elisa's Random Thoughts...

Never say Never

2010-02-02T16:58:00.002+04:00

I'm a woman of strong beliefs and convictions.
But Im also a Gemini.
So... life has taught me to embrace my own sayings and definite statements and allowed me to simply acknowledge that sometimes I am wrong.
As simple as that.
So, as I look out of the windown in my hotel room in Zurich, overlooking the lake and watch the snow that covers the trees, the pateos, the small little boats and rooftops, I can finally say that "I love it"...
I can take back years and years of repeated sentences like "I hate snow" or "I'm a beach girl" or "Fine, if you want to go skiing and freeze to death while avoiding smashing into a tree, go ahead. I will give it a raincheck".
I can take all that back and say that my horizons are now open to a whole new world... of little snow flakes and winter coats, and cute little boots and trendy gloves.
I go outside, into the -2C weather and I breathe serenity and confort. I let the fresh air mingle through my uncovered hair and I dont fear it anymore...
And it makes me happy.

1:00:43

2010-01-23T12:02:00.003+04:00

Sometimes your life changes in different directions.

You stop having the time.

You travel too much, you work too much.

You allow others to direct you on their own ways.

You allow smooth sailing to prevent you from going after that storm.

2009 could have been that kind of year, but it wasnt!

I finished it with a smile, with double/triple effort to keep my life balanced; to allow time for me, myself and others.

As I crossed the finishing line of the Standard Chartered Dubai Marathon - 10k run (my first official run ever) I wasn't just thinking how happy I was for having finished it*. I was mainly thinking how happy I was to have managed to change my routines (even though sometimes less than what I wanted to) to be able to incorporate time for running, time for working, time for studying and time for socializing and being/talking with family.

Wow. I did it!! I really did it!

I ran it... I really ran it.

And just to think that only some 6 months ago I couldnt even run more than 10 minutes in a row without being completely out of breath.

I still remember those small wins, those delightful moments that lead me to this point...

Those first evenings at the gym with Nadine (thanks for challenging me... it all started because of you!!), hitting the threadmill, as it was too hot to run outside;

Our first 30 mins of continuous running;

My first 5 kms;

My first 7 kms;

3 full laps in Safa Park;

Running in Central Park;

Running by the beach, right in front of my place back in Portugal;

Running with my brother (or attempting to);

My last laps before the run, at 10pm, with Mugur (who not only was patient enough to answer all my "beginner questions" throughout all these months but even brought extra isostar bottles for me when we ran together), just before going back to work;

and so many other moments, who will always be a nice reminder that hard work is what takes you to places.

And if you get there running, even better! :)

*ok, ok, I admit it. My competitive side was also ecstatic with the fact that not only I finished it, but I also managed to finished within the goal I had established for myself from the beginning... 1 hour!! I keep trying to convince me that it was all about finishing it more than anything else, but too old to fool myself I guess... Couldn't keep myself quiet once I got to know about the final timings!!! Too happy to describe with words.

The Missing Link

2009-09-15T20:36:00.003+04:00

As I travel quite often I have to admit I have become quite "professional" in what it comes to packing...

Now the strange fact is that I ALWAYS forget one of three things: either my tooth brush, my pijama or my mobile/blackberry charger.

Those who know me better will now say that is completely expected since combining my packing skills with my naturally relaxed way of being means that you will normally find me packing my bags a couple of hours before leaving to the airport, which is obviously "crazy" and "completely stressful, almost a perfect environment for an heart attack" - their words, not mine.

I even have to admit that at some point I started believing that (maybe) there was a small chance of correlation, so I swear I really started packing the night before, sometimes even a couple of days before.

But dont forget, we are not just talking of a couple of trips... we are talking about a lot of packing and unpacking here...

And, obviously, I have also learned some tricks... For instance, I now have two tooth brushes: one for daily brushing and one inside my make up travel kit.

Still, the statistics now point to it as a fact.
There is indeed, no correlation, and here I am at my hotel room in Bangalore without my Blackberry, as it just went out of battery.

Para tiiii...

2009-06-29T17:03:00.008+04:00

Algumas semanas fora de prazo... Mas ainda me lembro de ti sempre que ouco esta musica.

Tu, alias, voces, deixam-me com um sorriso de orelha a orelha.

E assim sendo, a musica torna-se apenas uma cancao de embalar perfeita. (mesmo que nao possa com a cantora nem pintada!... detesto miudas boazinhas!)

Note to President Obama: Want to Fix the Schools? Look to Portugal!

2009-06-25T11:36:00.005+04:00

I have always refrained to talk about the Education sector in Portugal but I read this article by Don Tapscott and couldnt help writing about it (even if my aunt, that is a teacher will probably hunt me down and try to kill me).

Sure, this is a "dangerous topic", that always generates heated debates in the country and I am not there, reading the newspapers everyday or witnessing first hand all the developments in the area.

But, its about time someone does realise that Portugal will only grow as a country if we start paying more attention to the way we educate our children!!

Actually, what a cliche, since this really applies to all countries and all societies.
So, no rocket science statement here. Just a statement of the obvious...
Educate your children to become leaders and they will take your country to higher heights. Educate them to become "masters of memorisation" and they will memorise the manual and thrive on 'copy paste' of previous mistakes.

As Don mentions in his article " the technology is only one part of that campaign. The real work is creating a new model of learning".

We need to change our mindset. Its not about getting a degree, its about what you learn during the time you are getting that degree. Its not about passing the exam because you crammed it all into your brain the night before, its about understanding what you are reading and actually relate it to its applications. Its not only about working for company X or Y because they pay a lot of money or they have a recognised brand.

But hey, changing this mindset is not easy.

How many times did someone tell me to accept/not acceot a certain job based on the company's name and how good it was for my CV?? What is good for my CV? Excuse me?! My CV is a piece of paper. I judge my career steps based on how good they are for my life, my learning process, my development, not my CV. My CV is a piece of paper, similar to my University degree certificate or my passport. It doesnt define me, I define it.

And its not as if I didn't think on similar terms too. I passed half of my University time studying text books and allowing myself to be educated by teachers who tried to taught me by making me read endless textbooks or simply by lecturing me.

Therefore, the aim was to pass each test with the highest mark, lowest time spent studying/memorising and avoiding any questions.

Basically, I was loosing my time.

Loosing my time with useless text books (actually Seth has a great entry on textbooks & their "attributes") and boring classes.
Side note - Its definitely important to open a parentisis here to say that this is just an overall statement, as I did have some amazing teachers that really made all those years quite interesting.
Actually, I cant simply blame it on the teachers or the textbooks... I was the problem! I wasnt challenging myself and was thriving in my confort zone. Actually, I didnt even understand what it all meant. Concepts like 'Learning, Confort Zone, Embracing the challenges', etc, doesnt sound very simple and straightforward when your idea of a challenge is to study for the mini-test.

And then, someone/something opened my mind. No, it wasnt an immediate encounter with UFO, nor did it happen in a second, a month, or a year.

For me, it was my involvement with AIESEC. It filled me with questions and a neverending quest for the answers. It gave sense to business models and learning cycles, taking the diagrams/models out of the textbook out into the real world. And it gave me a sense of purpose.

For others, younger ones, it can be a computer called Magalhaes, that is connected to the internet and allows them to search for the answers to their multitude of questions. It can be a "new wave" of teachers that embraces discussion and questioning (and, once again, I was fortunate to encounter many of these throughout my academic life, at a time in which there were no laptops, nor wikipedia, blogs and Facebook).

Above all, the important is that things are changing and that someone in Portugal's Government has finally realised the importance of it all. Sure, there will always be criticism and teachers will complain and parents will say that their poor kids are not prepared for all the changes. And as always, Education Ministers will be sacrificed and rotate like fresh bread.

Anyway, get over it. Change normally hurts, especially if you are way toooo comfortable sitting on your own status quo. And, as always, its so much easier to criticize others and say that they are wrong rather than coming up with solutions or better alternatives.

Of course, it wont be easy. And, once again I repeat, its not only about giving computers to kids or training teachers. And it clearly doesnt happen overnight. But its a great start!

And even if not perfectly managed (lets ignore all of those reported incidents in which the computers where taken away from the school after the press conference and so on and lets focus on the important bits) the truth is that more kids now have access to computers and the internet and the brand new world of knowledge and learning that they represent and encapsulate.

And, I have to admit that it does feel good to read an article that gives Portugal some positive publicity and emphasises the effort that is being put into modernising the Education sector, rather than reporting how Greece and Portugal fight for the last spots in most of the European Union rankings or the fact that Maddie is still missing and our Police Department efforts are ridiculous.

What is making me happy right now...

2009-06-21T10:44:00.001+04:00

Pretty much everything. Yes, everything.

Old friends moving to town. Long lasting friendships. Saudi Arabia trips being cancelled last minute and replaced with meetings in Barcelona, including a small stop over in Portugal. Spring in Portugal. Being back in my new apartment by the sea and seeing my new bedroom furniture. Dreaming about my living room furniture. Surprising friends at the "moment" they needed us the most. Sharing sadness and happiness all in one go and preparing for even more happiness to come. Enjoying the weather in Dubai before it became too hot to breathe. Unexpected parties and unexpected embraces. Diving again after almost a year of absence. The peace and serenity under water. My birthday. My wonderful friends and their surprises and my wii. My Black&White Bday Party. My Black&White Bday Party (It made me feel so happy that I have to write it twice). Leaving my white castle (ok, I have to admit this one is a nostalgic smile as well... Too many good memories over the past 4 years!). My 'last night' in my white castle. Moving into cloud no.29. The View from the living room. Having close friends in the neighborhood. No traffic on the way to work. No taxis honking (hurray). Upcoming holidays. Direct flights from Luanda to Dubai with Emirates, announcing future visits.

As I said, pretty much everything. :)

Happy Bday to me....

2009-06-07T10:45:00.004+04:00

One always thinks twice when creating expectations... Not because one is not ambitious but simply because one is afraid. Afraid that expectations are wrongly set, that one will have to suffer once again for the fact that things are not going the way the literally expected.

And then there are all these other times in which perfection is achieved... Expectations are no longer important, regardless of how high they were/are. And you just cruise life with a sense of wellbeing and happiness that cant be described by achieving expectations or 'having things going according to the plan'... It simply happens that all is good. The moment itself I mean. Its all good, and perfect and smily.

And that is what I am feeling now.

That its all good.

And, just in case I havent said it enough (because its never enough..):

Thank you.

Thank you all for sharing my life, for being part of it, for making it so bright.

E oficial... Nao ha fome que nao de fartura.

2009-05-30T16:33:00.001+04:00

E o pior de tudo e o facto de nao saber o que quero.

Ou melhor, quero o que nao devo.

Damn.

All I want is a new passport... Not a trip to Saudi.

2009-05-12T17:17:00.005+04:00

It seems that my intensive travelling of the past 12 months has taken a toll on my passport, leaving me with only a couple of pages left for those nice stamps I love collecting every time I enter or exit a different country.

Since there is no portuguese embassy or consulate in Dubai (or in the whole of the United Arab Emirates may I add) I humbly called the Portuguese Embassy in Saudi Arabia. For those of you who dont know it, that is the embassy that is supposed to take care of portuguese in the UAE, eventhough we are more than 1000 in the country...

I quickly google for it and end up getting into 3 or 4 different websites which have the Embassy's number.
But, it turns out the number is either not working (as the nice arabic lady tells me on the other side of the line) or its a fax number...
Anyway, it happens, right? They changed their contact details and forgot to update it on relevant websites. Easy peasy. I try the Ministry of Foreign Affairs website... and I found the new numbers.

I dial it hoping it wont be a wrong number once again.

This time I am lucky and this sweet voice answers my call... "Portuguese Embassy may I help you?"
I ask her if she speaks portuguese, so that I can quickly start explaining what I want and get it all over.
Her answer "yes, no."
Humm.
Not exactly what I was expecting... "I beg your pardon? So, do you or do you not speak portuguese? Didnt I just call the portuguese embassy?"
She confirms my expectation. " Sorry mam, I dont speak Portuguese. May I still help you?"
I go ahead and explain her what I am after and she quickly transfers me to the right department, the Consulate.

Cool, I think. Not that hard to go through and there isnt all those silly rules of calling at certain timings and days for certain topics, as you normally expect from embassies.

It turns out she transfers me to another lady.
I ask her the same question "Do you speak portuguese?"
Honestly, this time, I was only asking the question to be polite. Of course she would speak Portuguese!! Afterall, she works in the Consulate, attending to portuguese people living abroad.

I had already started with my request in portuguese, when I hear her answer halfway.
"No, I dont speak portuguese. May I help you?"
"No??!!! Are you joking??!! What the hell are you doing working there, then? Shouldnt we be employing all those nice portuguese expat wifes who dont have jobs in Saudi Arabia in order to increase portuguese remittances?" I (sarcastically) think... but dont say it out loud.

I try to ignore it all and just ask her about the process for getting my new passport.
I wanted the answer to all those trivial questions: how many pics you'll need, how long does it takes, should I use DHL or Fedex to send the documents(yes, it was be a tricky question, just to see if they still hold an account with DHL), etc.

But then she starts with "well, we have the new system, you know?"
No, I dont know and I dont care. And I dont feel like having to hear how long it took you all to be familiar with the system and how only one of you really gets how it works and that he is on his lunch break. You know... typical public service behavior.

How naive of me.

Afterall, what she was trying to tell me is that the new system, for the biometric passport, requires your presence!! I mean, it requires your presence in Riyadh, Saudi Arabia!!

I gently try to explain her that I am not in Saudi. That I am, in fact, in Dubai and that the common rule is that no woman is allowed into Saudi except if it goes with her husband or brother or has a really nice job, working for a really good company that has big local family as a sponsor. (Yes, I am talking about me. But, trust me, that is one in a million situation). Anyway, all things she should know way better than me, as she lives there and works in a Consulate, for crying out loud!

She understands what I am saying but tells me I have no other option. Anyway, she will transfer me to the consul, that he might help.
I can see from his accent that he definitely talks portuguese, but I also doubt he is the consul. I start explaining it all once again.

He sounds perplexed over the phone with my questioning, almost bothered with the fact that I actually have questions about such a normal occurence. "Just go the embassy" he says.
"But there is no embassy here... thats why I am calling you"
"No, no no. Not the portuguese embassy, you'll have to go the Saudi Embassy in the UAE and get a visa. If there isnt one in Dubai then you'll have to go to Abu Dhabi"

My turn to be perplexed with his "simplicity". I ask him how does he expect me to get a visa under such circumstances. Am I the only one here that knows how hard it is to get a Saudi visa, even for males?
"Oh, we dont know", he replies back. "That is not part of the services we provide" (???? wtf???) you will have to deal directly with the embassy there and try to explain them the situation". The only other option you have is to get a temporary 6 months visa and keep renewing it when its expired"

I breathe in and out and and try not to hyperventilate as I am trying to leave the hardcore ventilation to that moment in time in which I will be pregnant. ( I know, I know.. I am so thoughtful).

Besides, he did offer an alternative which isnt completely ridiculous.

I evaluate my options. Either I start screaming at his incompetence and the fact that it is ridiculous that there is no embassy/consulate in the UAE (or at least an agreement with any of the other European countries embassies in the UAE) or I politely hang up the phone.

I hung up.

Istanbul Revisited

2009-04-21T18:19:00.002+04:00

As I stare out my window (again) I try to ignore the connection with the city and its hills. I always feel like home here.. as if someone has created this place on purpose so that I wouldnt miss Lisbon so badly.

It reminds me of that story I used to hear as a kid... in which a moorish king (or was it a sheikh?) planted thounsands of almond trees in Algarve (south of Portugal), so that every Spring, it would make his Nordic bride less home sick. Simply by imagining that the beautiful white scenario, created by the almond tree flowers blossoming, was nothing more than snow covering the nearby lands... just like home.

One in a Million...

2009-03-29T16:21:00.003+04:00

If there was a perfect setting, surrounded by the perfect soundtrack and lighting, then it happened yesterday at Emirates Palace lawns.

In a place where it rarely rains and people dont get that excited about concerts, I simply dont have enough words to describe yesterday's night Coldplay concert.

It was raining like crazy, lightning and thunder surrounding the arena for the entire night... Still, everyone stayed put and enjoyed an ecstactic evening as Chris Martin and his band sang all of our favorite songs and joyfully played with the "surrealism of the moment".

We sang, we danced, we celebrated Earth Hour, we laughed, and not even the fact that we were completely drenched and shivering stopped us from smiling and having a great time!

Definitely the cherry on the top of an already amazing weekend in Abu Dhabi!

Central Park, NYC

2009-03-10T20:55:00.001+04:00

Two worlds colliding...

2009-03-10T16:59:00.002+04:00

As anyone living abroad knows, my life is made of two realities, two worlds.
My world in Dubai and my world in Lisbon.
Each one encapsulates different settings, different places to call home, different favorite places & different group of friends...

Two days ago I raced down my apartment building, to open the door between both worlds and see them collide.
I awed in excitement as I look into those faces...of old, dear friends, set across a setting that is not theirs!
Most of my best friends from Portugal are in town and I feel like a child, who cant stop smiling at the beauty of it all...
I took them across some of my favourite places and opened their eyes into "my other world". I reminesced about all our conversations and time spent together, this time against a different backdrop, like the Burj Dubai or Barasti.

Pure bliss would be an understatement.

Ok. Eu admito...

2009-02-05T13:32:00.001+04:00

Eu sou a ?miuda? que vinha a ouvir esta musica ?aos berros? ontem a noite, enquanto conduzia pela Sheikh Zayed Road, em direccao a casa, depois de um looongo dia.

Quanto ao facto de vir a chorar lagrimazinhas de felicidade so por causa da sensacao de pure bliss que a musica evocou, isso e pura difamacao e eu desminto tudo.

And Suddenly...

2009-02-01T16:38:00.002+04:00

Its interesting how your life can be so full of coincidences... and so full of bliss when you start putting all those coincidences into the bigger scheme of things.

I travelled to India at some point in the end of 2008 in search for some peace and quietness, after a long, hectic year of travelling. It turned out that I would be there right after the Mumbai bombings so there goes all the hope for quietness and peace that I was looking for (or at least thats what I thought at the time).

However, I found something even more precious... And it all started with bookstores, with cheap books! And one book that grabbed my attention. The one that I had been wanting to read in a while but never happen before.

And, suddenly, there I was (am) reading 2 or 3 books at the same time, saviouring each one as a gourmet meal, worried about the moment I will reach the last chapter, as it means I am almost over.

And suddenly, through these books, in the middle of mystic India, I started forgetting about all the smell and noises and focusing on the silence (or should I say music) that comes out of every single moment and individual. I started laughing, just as I used to. And I didnt even realised I was laughing with less intensity as before until I started laughing again in the same way I used too.

I know this probably makes no sense to most of you (and by now you will be putting me in that folder of your brain that says "weird people". Oh, wait... I was there already,so no worries then)... but suddenly this conversation opened paths to people around me who I never knew were exploring similar ways. And coincidences kept happening, now in a sequenced rhythm that continues to surprise me.. more books, more conversations, that lead to such much more...

And suddenly, I am different, but still the same. Its just that I allow myself to be me. With even more intensity than before.

I know I am still at the beginning of the path, confused in the middle of so much awe and awareness, but at the same time I dont feel lost. In fact, just the opposite.

My Top 3 Country

2009-01-26T21:45:00.007+04:00

If you are me (which, I am assuming you are not, otherwise life would be even weirder) and lived in Dubai, you would probably have 3 places you'd really want to go.

I am not talking about ranking countries with regards to History or Nature only (I would never be able to list them under that criteria, as I really want to go everywhere) but I am focusing especially on those that are somehow "forbidden" or "out of reach"... (and yes, I am taking out of the equation countries which are really really unsafe, like Iraq and Afghanistan, just so that my mum can still remain calm)...

1. Saudi Arabia. Getting a visa into Saudi as a woman, single, who is travelling unacompanied by blood related man (husband or brother) is pretty much unheard of... which is why it was on the top of places I really really wanted to go. Good news is that I did manage to get to Jeddah at some point last year and experience it a tiny bit. Looking forward to taste the real stuff soon as I am hoping to get to Ryiadh eventually.

2. Yemen. Yes... the place in which tourists get kidnapped all the time and men carry their daggers, while walking on the streets... Pure bliss of History and stories... Did you know that much of what we know as Arab world started in Yemen? Even the tribe who created Petra originated from Yemen! And, in Sana'a, you can also find the first skyscrappers in the world... 6 floors tall!(I am sure that's how they felt at the time... like skyscrappers). Anyway, sooo want to go there, but I've been strongly advised not to travel solo, so still looking for a travelling buddy. Ciro, when are you coming? ;)

3. Israel. What can I say... If you live long in the Middle East, this is also one of the places that really attracts you (well.. once again, this is me talking! I am pretty sure its not a common opinion).
Israel is the silent word in someone's sentence, the comment you make after you check if someone is listening. Its the place you know you cant have stamped on your passport, otherwise you will not be allowed back into the UAE.
You hear about all the wars and the stories about the past and this and that, and at a point you just want to check it by yourself... Not because you want to know who is right or wrong, but simply because you just want to put it all aside (if ever possible) and discover its beauty as a place, with no religious or political boundaries. Just look at the places, the rivers, the houses, the people, as an essence of what they are and not what they represent.

And here I am... Writing this text from my hotel room in Herzlia, 10kms away from Telavive, listening to the waves outside.
Funny how they sound exactly the same as anywhere else.

"Your people will judge you on what you can build, not what you destroy"

2009-01-21T12:09:00.004+04:00

We sat down around the table, eating our pasta bolognesa, dipping our pita bread into lebanese style chickpeas, eating portuguese chourico with bread from the french bakery, while drinking Barack - peach liquor from Hungary.

We live in a muslim city, and some say we live in a western style.

It doesnt matter to me. We live respecting each other, not enforcing realities or stereotypes as Truth.

I like to think that we evaluate others and ourselves based on what we can build, no matter what is our faith, citizenship, gender or hair's color. It is far more important, than what we can destroy.

We dont look to Obama as a Messiah, or a saviour that will change the world today. His speech yesterday night did not stop someone dying from starvation, or someone being killed at that same exact time.

But it will smooth some bruises and, most of all, it will bring us HOPE.

Hope... that the word will spread and that we will accept the present as the only time it matters.

We can no longer discuss the past, because it is too full with blood, with hate, with envy and greed, just to name a few.
We can no longer foresee the Future as if we are trying to decide who will win the battle, and on which side we want to be.
We can no longer wait for someone else to be responsible for our own successes or failures.

We can only act NOW.
Each one of us.
Bit by bit.

On growing old. On changes.

2008-12-11T18:11:00.005+04:00

I still think of me as the girl who wears street clothes (half surf/beach dudette), who hasnt ever wear heels, always with her funky Skechers and doesnt even know or cares how to apply make up.

But then, out of the blue it comes to my mind that I love being dressed up for the occasion, love my heels and all my shoes (yes, I know... what a cliche) and dont leave the house without a min amount of make up (although I still struggle with it).

I dont always think about this.. about this duality of characters within myself. But sometimes it just strikes me that they both coexist.

I guess its a similar feeling to the fact that you dont feel yourself age physically, unless you compare your face in the mirror with old pictures.

I now like to think about myself as a sophisticated business woman: a mix between Donald Trump in the making (but with a bit more hair) and Carrie Bradshaw sense of style (except for all those times in which you watch the series and say "what the hell was she thinking when she wore that?!)... but I still browse around the Billabong store, just in case.

I bought a car when I moved to Dubai and thought "this one doesnt count". I am just going to be here temporarily. Its now been more than 3 years. I have now been living my own life, outside the parents nest for more than 4 years and I just realised it now!! Weird, hein?

I dont know why all of these thoughts all of the sudden. I guess it has something to do with my new house. As if it is the official landmark for something which started long time ago, but I have only got to realise it now.

This is the stage in which things happen. "When I am older I want to be this and have that". This is the moment I am older. This is now my own life.

I am not scared, not at all. I am just smiling at the weirdness of the fact that I never really thought about it that way.

For the record...

2008-12-01T11:36:00.002+04:00

(and, just in case my memory continues to fail me)

Dubai Rugby 7s weekend continues way up in the list of "best days/nights in Dubai".

No matter rain, no matter the heat. Amazing moments are always 100% guaranteed.

4th year in a row and counting!!!

Its official...

2008-11-05T10:13:00.002+04:00

Barack Obama is the new President of the USA.

And that brings a tearful smile into my face...
As part of this global world, where everything is interlinked, I am all up for the ones who inspire you to become a better individual, who inspire you to wake up in the morning, look around, see all the negativity flowing, and simply smile... Believing that you have the power to change it all. And it will happen.

What is making me smile...

2008-11-02T10:58:00.004+04:00

The Secret Cocktail Launch Party's success. The amazing weather. My work, oh yes, my work. My new living room. Brazilians dancing Chao Chao Chao on my living room floor. My friends. New friends. The Secret Cocktail.The probability of old friends moving into town. Saturday phonecalls with my grandparents. Tremocos bought in Sharjah. My New York's dress. Random phonecalls with someone from the past which makes you feel good. Pregnant friends. Almost pregnant friends. Friends on their way to became theatre stars. My mother signing 'mum' in english, at the bottom of her emails, written in portuguese. Browsing photos of my soon to be house, over and over again. "Whatever you like" on the radio, on the way to work. My car with one 'ojo saltone'. Upcoming Rugby 7's. Old pictures. Climbing. New shoes.

By the time the weekend ended...

2008-10-12T09:27:00.004+04:00

... Carrie had broken up with Aidan. Romina had left. And my dream home got a step closer to becoming mine.

I am pretty sure this is close to what they call being "emotionally drained".

The Story... or my love for Portugal.

2008-09-28T19:53:00.009+04:00

Few things in life are already decided. And even fewer things will happen as you expect them to happen. But some things you just feel they will.

One day I will be back, I will discuss politics and football during the same conversation with no breaks; I will criticize everything and blame it on the weather or on the Government.

Still, there is no other place in which I can feel what I feel when I am back in Portugal. The friendships, the Ocean, the wine/beer... It all tastes better.

And this song by Brandi Carlile (btw, a major Sumer hit in Portugal this year) put together with this video for a Super Bock (beer brand) ad just put it all into perspective.
It makes me think about all I love about my country and the uniqueness of the bond we share.

The ad has it all:

The perfection, the imperfections, the first love, the other loves, the laughter, the tears, the melody and the screams, the departures and the arrivals, the ocean...

Above it all, one common element...
Unique moments, shared with the ones you love.

Portugal. What a Unique/Authentic Taste (Sabor Autentico)!!

Disclaimer - No... this is not me regretting to be abroad or hoping to be back soon. Many plans are still left untouched and a couple of countries left to explore. But its good to feel that the "long term objective" still continues to make sense. :)

... Como uma lapa.

2008-09-19T13:15:00.004+04:00

As vezes. Sento me sozinha. No canto da minha vida. E penso nas razoes que me fazem estar longe. Fico ali sentada tempos infinitos. A pensar mas sem conseguir pensar. Com a mente em branco. Numa meditacao sem meditacao. So vazio. E quero ficar. Agarro me ao chao com toda a forca. E quero ficar. Nao esperneio, mas agarro me ao chao emocionalmente. Como uma lapa. Sem ninguem notar.

Depois, levanto me. Calco os sapatos e sigo em frente, como se nada se tivesse passado.

Eu sou assim. Uma sombra de mim mesmo. Gosto de me contrariar. So para provar que sou forte.

Number 4... and counting.

2008-09-10T16:26:00.000+04:00

Just witnessed another small earthquake in Dubai.

The building swayed, the frames moved and the plants were moving as if there was wind in the office.

My first reaction?

Call my dad...

"Dad. are you still there?"
"Yes"
"Great. Just checking if Europe still existed".
"??"
"We felt a tremor, so I was just wondering if you were all wiped out, due to the experiences going on in Geneva"
"Nop, we are all good"
"Ok. It must have been in Iran, then"

It turned out that I was correct... Not about Europe disappearing for good, but about the epicentre of the earthquake... it happened in South Iran.

So, adding up to the previous ones, reported here and here, plus one other that I barely felt (also in Dubai), it has now been 4.

Ouch.